


Of Doom and Gloom and Comfort

by butterfly_wings



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Post-Canon, and kurahashi is allowed to be sad, but she tries her best!, hazama is not good at comforting people!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 21:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20032363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterfly_wings/pseuds/butterfly_wings
Summary: or, how Hazama figures out how to comfort Kurahashi.For Assclass femslash week, day 1: comfort/sweets!





	Of Doom and Gloom and Comfort

Kurahashi had run past her crying. 

So. 

That’s a predicament she’ll have to deal with.

There’s literally no way that she’s going to be successful. 

Hazama is willing to admit that she really doesn’t know how to comfort people after all. And as it would seem, neither do her bonehead friends. 

“Just give her some candy or something,” Yoshida tells her. “Girls love that shit.” 

“Hugs,” Muramatsu suggests. “And bring her to my ramen place.” 

“You just want business,” she accuses. 

“Well, yeah.” Muramatsu shrugs. “But food is good, right?” 

“You just gotta tell her that you care,” Terasaka advises. “It’s what all the movies say. Or do some grand romantic gesture. Like propose.” 

That's such a bad idea, why is she talking to them again? 

“You’re seventeen,” Itona says. He’s clearly the only one with any common sense, although Yoshida might be onto something with the candy. “Do not propose. But maybe a promise ring—”

“No proposing OR promising,” she snaps. “Will you knuckleheads take this seriously? This is Kurahashi we’re talking about.” 

“I bet Kurahashi would love a grand romantic proposal,” Muramatsu says thoughtfully. “Hey, can I cater your wedding?” 

Just like that, her boys lose all rationality. 

“Would Hazama wear a dress?” Yoshida wonders. “I bet Kurahashi would, but the question is, could she get Hazama in one?” 

“We’d invite the whole class, of course,” Itona says. “I wonder if Bitch-sensei or Karasuma can officiate weddings. Oh! We have to have it on the mountain.”

“I bet Hazama will cry,” Terasaka says. “She’d deny it, of course, but Nakamura and Karma would have photos, so we’d all know that Hazama cried at her wedding. 

“We’re off-topic!” she shouts. “No one is getting married!” 

Her dumb boys fall silent. 

“We’re all single,” Muramatsu says finally. “We don’t know how to do this romantic stuff.” 

“I thought Yoshida was dating Hara,” Hazama says. 

“We’ve been dating for two days!” Yoshida exclaims. “I’m new to this!” 

“You guys are absolutely useless,” she grumbles, and slouches in her chair. No more mining ideas from the boys. She’ll have to rely on her own intellect, and whatever sensible information the Internet will be able to provide her. 

And Ristu, probably. 

Either way, she’ll come up with something. She has to, after all: Kurahashi’s happiness depends on it. 

“You need relationship advice?” Ritz asks, popping up on screen with a bright smile. “About how to comfort your girlfriend?” 

“Go away, you nosy android,” Hazama says, without any real bite. Ritsu has a sixth sense, sometimes, for when her classmates aren’t feeling well. Maybe it’s their Internet search history that tips her off. Creepy, considering that she’s an AI, but…it is nice, she supposes. 

“I just want to help my classmate,” Ritsu replies. 

“I didn’t ask for your help,” Hazama snarks right back. On screen, Ristu seems to shrink back slightly. “You downloaded yourself onto my phone—which is creepy, by the way—and now take the liberty of popping up whenever it pleases you.” 

“Sorry,” says Ritsu, fiddling with her hair and looking at her feet. “I just want to be helpful.” 

Of course she did, which is exactly what Hazama needed right now. Great. Now she just feels like an asshole, for offending the AI. 

“I’m just not good at the comforting business,” Hazama grumbles. "Look at me. I'm just gloomy and depressing."

Ritsu seems to perk up at her admission. “You're not that gloomy. But...Kurahashi has seemed rather upset lately. Sometimes I make sure to send her a cute puppy video. Just reach out to her and if she wants to talk, she’ll talk.” 

“That easy?” Hazama asks. 

Ritsu smiles. “Every human being is different. You need to figure out what Kurahashi would like, and how you can best help her.” She spins around on screen. “Koro-sensei told me that I should make sure to support my classmates as best I can, and that’s what I hope to do! And when it comes to comforting people, that’s what you should aim to do too!” 

“You’re an AI,” Hazama points out, although it’s not malicious. She just needs to remind Ritsu that she’s not human. 

Ritsu seems to be aware of Hazama’s reasonings, because she laughs (or maybe she’s been on her phone long enough to understand how Hazama works). “An assassin AI,” she replies. “One with enough information to support all my classmates. But just be there for her. Good luck, Hazama!” 

And with a salute and a wink, Ritsu vanishes from the screen. 

Hazama sighs. Listen to someone, offer them support, be physically present. 

Maybe she will just grab some candy and give it to Kurahashi. 

Why aren’t there any spider chocolates out there? She’s wasted her weekend and she’s meeting with Kurahashi this Thursday. At this rate, she’ll have to make chocolate. 

Oh, no. 

With a groan, she texts Hara. If anyone can help her, it'll be her. 

“I think this is a really nice thing that you’re doing,” Hara tells her as she sets up the ingredients for chocolate. 

Hazama cannot believe that she’s doing this.

“It’ll be sweet, and Kurahashi will appreciate it,” Hara continues. “Plus, this will be good to know for the future.” She winks at the end of the statement, and Hazama internally curses her existence. How anyone believes that Hara is the sweet mother figure is beyond her. That girl hides mischief and a sly mind behind sweet smiles and concern. 

...okay, the concern probably is legitimate, but still. When will the assassins of 3-E realize that Hara is more mischievous than they realize? When will they realize that Hara has them hoodwinked? 

“Since we don’t have molds, you’ll have to use piping tips,” Hara adds. 

“You’re joking.” Hazama has never made chocolate in her entire life, no matter how often her mother pushed her into it. “I have no idea how to do that.” 

Hara grins. “There’s a first for everything, isn’t there?” 

“I hate you so damn much.” 

“If you, the self-proclaimed Queen of Doom and Gloom, want to comfort your girlfriend…” Hara picks up a bowl. “Come on. Stop complaining, you asked me for help.” 

“I am going to kill you,” Hazama tells her, but she groans and ties her hair back. “Fine. Tell me what to do.” 

“Hey, Kurahashi,” Hazama says warily at their weekly cafe meeting. This is probably going to be terrible. How can she be expected to comfort someone? “How are you?” 

“Good!” Kurahashi replies. She offers a smile. “How are you?” 

Here is what Hazama notices: 

1\. smile doesn’t reach her eyes

2\. eyes aren’t even that bright, and they seem far away

3\. it’s the anniversary. none of her classmates like talking about it 

4\. her shoulders are drooping

5\. she’s not eating much of her parfait. 

“Bullshit,” Hazama replies. “You’re allowed to be upset.” 

“Why should I be upset?” Kurahashi asks. “I’m on a date with my girlfriend. We’re eating parfaits.” 

“It’s the anniversary of Koro-sensei’s death, you were crying the other day—don’t lie to me about that, I saw you—and while I’m all gloom and doom, you’re cheery and sweet, and it’s weirding me out.” She digs through her bag and slides a box of chocolate to Kurahashi. “It’s not. Not like. White Day or anything, but Hara helped me make them.” The words start tumbling out of her mouth, and she can’t stop them. “They’re spider-shaped. Do you know how hard it is to find spider-shaped molds? Bugs are your favorite and I’m really grateful for your help with Despair when she gave birth, you know, and I thought it would be fitting, since that’s probably the start of our friendship. And I don’t like seeing you sad because it’s weird. I’m supposed to be the sad one, not you. That’s not to say you’re not allowed to be unhappy,” she continues, because it’s true, Kurahashi is allowed to cry, she’s not supposed to be a happy robot the whole time. That’s Ritsu’s job. Where was she? Oh, yeah. “The point is, I was—well, worried.” She scowls and looks away. 

“Hazama,” Kurahashi says softly. “You…I…” 

Hazama looks up, and there’s tears leaking out of Kurahashi’s green eyes. 

Hell. She made this worse, didn’t she? 

“You’re so bad at this comforting business, you know?” Kurahashi says, wiping her eyes. “That was just bad!” 

But there’s the tiniest smile on her face, underneath the tears. 

“…yeah, I’m all doom and gloom, remember?” she tries. She slides out of her seat and into the seat next to Kurahashi. “Just don’t…don’t…it’s okay.” 

Kurahashi wraps her arms around her. “Don’t ever change, Hazama. I really appreciate this. You’re bad at this, but it helped, you know.” 

“Oh.” What do people say next? “It’s going to be okay,” she finally mumbles, even though she’s not totally sure if it will. “It’s going to be okay.” 

“There’s just been a lot going on,” Kurahashi says, sniffing. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” 

“Okay,” Hazama says, and hesitantly runs her hand through Kurahashi’s hair. “Just. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here, okay?” 

“Thank you,” Kurahashi whispers back. She rests her head on Hazama’s shoulder, and Hazama wraps her arm around Kurahashi.

So, she might not’ve been the best candidate for this whole comforting business. 

But she thinks that she did a good job, all things considered.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen...listen. Ritsu downloaded herself on the class's phones, there's so much potential there. I also think that Ritsu and Hazama is a sorely underrated dynamic, but that's probably because I had so much fun writing their interaction, which I thought up of on a whim. 
> 
> Secondly, I know Hara is mom friend but you cannot convince me that she's mischievous and a bit of a prankster underneath all that niceness. She could probably get away with murder (and we know she has the skills for it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯) 
> 
> Thirdly, I know I didn't really go into why Kurahashi was upset. I think: she misses Koro-sensei, she's probably stressed about school (since she ended in the E-Class she either broke some rules or had not so great grades, in this case I'm opting for the "she was slipping behind her studies"), and I also think she probably bottles her feeling sometimes to smile? Because that's kind of her reputation so she doesn't really let others see her be sad that often. Maybe i'm projecting, lol. 
> 
> Finally, yeah, this is post-canon, and I sort of viewed this fic as...well, kind of the third for two of my other AssClass fics? It's not necessary to read those, but if you're curious, it's The Reader and the Effervescent ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/11892678 ) and Imaginary Boundaries ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/17625047 ). There's a few references to those in here, at any rate, but once again, it's really not necessary to read those. 
> 
> Well, if you got all the way to the end, congrats! Thank you for reading! Leave a comment/kudos if you liked it, I would really appreciate it!


End file.
